Just as an update, August 27th made 4 full months that Evelio has been at his residential school in Oklahoma City.
First of all, when my son was born a lot of my friends had either just had a baby or were pregnant, with the result that a huge number of my (would have been) graduating class (2009) have children around the same age as Evelio. So, naturally my Facebook newsfeed has been blown up with first day of pre-k or kindergarten photos. Anyhow, out of all of my old friends on my Facebook page that have children the same age, Evelio is the only child that has Autism.
These 'first day' pictures got me thinking of all the firsts Evelio has experienced and how different his firsts are from neurotypical children and how I react to his firsts, and also some firsts that he may never reach. That sounds a tad bit confusing I know, so I'll try to explain.
First Day of School
Neurotypical Child-
Hannah is 4 years old. She was so excited that she hardly slept at all last night. She was so happy when her dad came to her room this morning and turned on her light. Today is her first day of school. Her and her mom already picked out her clothes for school last night and hung them in the bathroom. After her bath, her mom helps her get dressed and pulls her hair into a ponytail with a big bow hairtie. She puts on her brand-new Hello Kitty backpack and hurries her parents to the car. When she gets to school, her parents walk with her inside to her classroom. Her teacher's name is Ms. Kelly. Hannah is very nervous but cannot stop smiling when she sees the nametag at her table. Her teacher shows her which cubby belongs to her and she stows away her backpack and her class heads to breakfast in the cafeteria. Her parents are still with her. She eats breakfast while her parents are busy snapping pictures of her. Then, it's time to go back to the classroom. She sits in her seat and her parents kneel down to give her a goodbye kiss and wish her luck on her first day. They both have tears, but Hannah has a great first day and makes 2 new friends.
Evelio-
Evelio turned 3 yesterday. Today is his first day of Plato Little House (Local early childhood special education). His class is the afternoon session scheduled to start at 1pm and end at 3pm. His mom was so nervous she didn't hardly sleep and was up at the crack of dawn. After Evelio eats a lunch of 6 chicken nuggets and drinks some water, mom puts him the bathtub. He loves his bath and is reluctant to get out. Mom gets him dressed and helps him brush his teeth, (she has to fight with him). She grabs his little blue backpack and throws a few diapers inside. She puts it around his shoulders. He freaks out and throws it off with a scream. She decides to carry it instead. She takes his hand and walks with him out to his bus stop. A white suburban pulls up and a friendly man named Mr. Bob steps out to buckle Evelio into a booster seat. Evelio is not paying attention when his mom tells him that he is going to school. He loves car rides so he's perfectly content and cooperates with being strapped in his seat. Mom starts to cry as she kisses his cheek one more time and shuts the suburban door. Meanwhile, Evelio is perfectly happy and flapping his arms and looking out the window completely oblivious to his mom's words. Evelio returns home with a grumpy attitude and a note saying he had an okay but stressful day.
(not his first day but just turned 3)First Colored Picture
Neurotypical Child-
Michael is two and a half years old. He's sitting at the table with his new Cars 2 coloring book open to his favorite picture of Lightning McQueen and a box of jumbo crayons is lying next to it. His mom is sitting beside him telling him to color her a picture. She hands him a red Crayola and touches it to the paper for him. He scribbles around the paper a few times and smiles as he sees the color traces left behind. He eagerly tries every color on the table. Then Mom tears out the paper and together they magnet it to the fridge.
Evelio-
Evelio is about to turn 5 years old. He's in a family therapy session with his mom and Robert and his therapist, Keila. There is a picture of Spiderman on the small desk-like table in front of him and a box of crayons/colored pencils. Keila tells him to color the picture. She hands him a red Crayola and touches it to the paper. He puts the crayon in his mouth and starts to chew on it. His mom tells him no and takes the crayon away and gives him a different color. This crayon heads straight for Evelio's mouth as well, but this time his mom puts her hand over his and makes it draw a line across the paper. Evelio briefly glances at the paper and tries to eat the crayon again. His mom tells him no, and helps him scribble a little bit. He is getting frustrated; he wants to eat the crayon. After using 3 crayons on the paper, they all decide to move on to something else. When Evelio's mom gets home she magnets the paper to her fridge and admires that she and her son did it together.
Those are just two examples of how those two firsts went for me. But other firsts I celebrate with Evelio that neurotypical parents probably reached years ago or won't experience are:-Just a month and a half ago, Evelio put a pegged, color-picture animal matching picture puzzle together in just over one minute by himself. http://youtu.be/qLNfKGbbDfs
-Same time frame, Evelio put matching shapes into a shape sorter with no help. http://youtu.be/QGUgLoVXzPc
-Two weeks ago, Evelio made his own cup of water from a Ozarka water dispenser, drank it without spilling and threw it away all by himself.
-Evelio is now in underwear 24/7 and as long as he is toileted every hour will not pee on himself.
-Although he still has accidents, so far Evelio has went number 2 in the potty 3 times.
-At age 4, Evelio started putting on his sandals by himself, and would put his socks on by himself.
-Now Evelio will put all of his clothes on including socks and shoes with minimal assistance as long as you hand him his clothes.
-The beginning of 2012, Evelio learned how to manipulate the iPad and iPhone to play his favorite apps. http://youtu.be/LetlyqOb92A
-A few months ago, Evelio learned and started signing "please" for treats.
-At age 3, Evelio could sign that he wanted food or drink. http://youtu.be/QlgbWWhR9Fo
-Evelio can vocalize his own version of tickle "tee-tah" and bye-bye "bah-bah".
There is also one thing that may never come. . .Speech
His therapist is hopeful because he is vocal, making noises and the fact that he has made his own version of tickle and bye-bye. However, at the moment I do not think he will speak in any kind of funcional speech any time soon, nor do I think that if he ever does say more words or begin to communicate his needs into phrases or god-willing sentences, that anyone other than those closest to him will understand him. However, I have come to terms with this fact, and although I still get down about it, I have realized that there are more important things that he needs to accomplish.
Another thing I do not get to celebrate right now is grade level. Evelio technically this year should be in Pre-K, however he was placed in the Pre-K class of special needs children last year because of his size and the fact that his birthday is only 7 days past the cut-off of September 21st. This year, when he comes home, I'm not sure what grade he will be classified under or the next year or the next. Which brings me to the question of how and if he will ever graduate high school. . . Those thoughts get me down, especially as I see so many children starting school and making friends. . . . My son may never have that. . . But I hope that he does.
And that is one thing I'm not short of. . . .HOPE. I will never give up on my son nor will I ever take anything for granted. I celebrate EVERY TINY PROGRESS as small as walking on his heels instead of his tip-toes. I just try to remind myself that while his future (and present) will be very different from his neurotypical peers, he definately has one and together, we will make the best of it.
