Then. . . it starts all over again.
I felt like I was going to go crazy the first day and part of the second day. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I blamed the medicine. He has been out of Risperdal for 2 days now. Risperdal makes him a little overemotional at normal rates, but now that he hasn't had any, I figured it's 100x's worse. I've called the pharmacy and there are no more refills, and they haven't heard back from the doctor. I called the doctor's office. . .His psychiatrist wants to see him before she refills it. That's all fine and dandy. It's just that she doesn't have an appointment open until Feb 10th! There is absolutely NO WAY he can go that long without medicine. Firstly, and most importantly, it is dangerous to his health to go without a medicine that his body has been used to taking for 2 and a half years. Secondly, I can't handle him without his medicine for that long. Not to mention, school has been pretty much totally pointless this past week due to his behavior. Waiting on a call now from his psychiatrist. . .
Last night, I gave Evelio his other medicine (Klonidine *don't know how to spell it* ), and also a dose of Tylenol because he kept holding his head and I imagined his head was hurting from all the screaming, and a dose of Melatonin. For the past 3 days he has been sleeping 2-3 hours at night, the rest is spent screaming and hitting himself and throwing things across his bedroom. He wasn't even napping very long during the day, which is highly unusual for him. Usually he'll take a nap everyday for at least 2 hours, and is ready for bed again by 8:30. Anyhow, after his medicine, I put him to bed, and after about 30 minutes of silence, I thought he must be asleep. I was wrong. He started squealing at first, and then came the screaming and crying. I let him continue this for a while, thinking he was only just going through another wave of meltdown, as we had been going through this for 3 days. Then, I couldn't stand it anymore, and he wasn't stopping so I went to his room and tried to calm him down. I tried laying with him and he kept pushing my hand off of him and slapping his arm. I picked him up and took him to the living room where Robert (my fiance) and I were watching the movie "Courageous", (fantastic movie btw). I sat him down with me and he couldn't sit still and was still crying and screaming. Usually, I can offer him my hand and ask him what he wants and he'll lead me to it, or, if he's hurting, will put my hand where he's hurting. For the course of this meltdown, however, he just slapped my hand away or pulled away from me. Then, he got up and started stomping around, and I noticed that he was digging the palm of his hand into his left ear. He usually puts his hands over his ears as a stimming behavior, part of the Autism. But, now, he burst out in tears and a 'heart-break' cry and was pushing on his ear. I told Robert that I bet he had an ear infection.
Evelio had tubes put in his ears in September of 2009, about 2 weeks before his 2nd birthday. He hadn't had an ear infection in the 2 and a half years since then. Everything made since now. Robert and I decided to take him to the ER. Indeed, he has an ear infection in both ears. We got a prescription for Tylenol with Codeine and Augmentin. Pharmacies were closed last night, so we (Evelio and I) basically got approximately 2.5 hours of sleep last night. Robert went to work at 6:30 this morning and he has the car, so the prescriptions are still not filled. They won't be filled until 4pm when he gets off. . .
In the meantime, Evelio is so tired, it's making him more upset. He'll fall asleep for 20-30 minutes and then wake up screaming.
He's pinched and hit me and tried to choke me. My heart breaks for him. And there is absolutely nothing I can do. I feel terrible on top of everything because his ear has probably been hurting for a while and he was trying to tell me with his behavior, but I didn't guess that. He hasn't had a fever that I can tell. I can never take his temperature because he won't let me. The last time I tried to take it, he gave me a great set of claw marks down the side of my neck. But, he hasn't felt hot.
I really hate Autism right now. Well, I hate it all the time, but right now I'm really feeling the anger. I just wish he could talk, or at least in some way, let me know when he's hurting. He finally showed me last night, but he has a high pain tolerance, so I can just imagine how badly it is hurting now that he is actually reacting to the pain.
I feel like I'm on the verge of tears today. I just don't know what to do. I can't help him and I should be able to. He doesn't understand why I can't make it stop hurting and I think that's why he is attacking me. Then, when he looks at me and cries that heart-break cry and lightly touches my arm it's like he's begging me to make it stop and I feel the tears welling up in my eyes. . .
I hope this is over soon. . .
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