Regression?

Since Evelio has started school (October 1st), only the very first week was great. But, the rest of the time has been a nightmare. Evelio has had two incident reports already, plus a call home yesterday because he was having a "bad day" and the teacher wanted to know if I could pick him up. I couldn't though because I didn't have the car.

Anyway, he actually received the first incident report on the 9th, which was only his second week of school. He was angry because the rest of his class (only three other students), were going to PE and Evelio is not allowed to go. I was not aware of this before as it was NOT discussed during his IEP meeting. When I asked the teacher why he wasn't allowed to attend PE with the other children, she said that PE is mainstreamed with other kids and she didn't feel as if he could cope with organized activities. She asked if I felt that he should go to PE. I said that he should be able to go with an aide and be allowed to run some energy out while the other kids played their kickball or whatever they are doing that day. Anyway, the other kids were going to PE and he was angry that he could not leave the room. He proceeded to "charge" at his teacher a few times, which she deflected whatever blow he was throwing at her. The fourth time, however, she missed and he kicked her a few times in her arm and caused her arthritis to flare up and her arm to swell. She was unaware that it was an arthritic swell at the time. The next day, she arrived at school and noticed that her arm was bruised purple and black and was very painful. So, after a half day, she went to the Emergency Room clinic. The doctor there informed her that it was a flare of her arthritis and that her bone was not broken and advised her to take the next day off. So, she filed the incident report, and, in Evelio's second week of school, he had landed his teacher in the ER.

The second incident report came home today. I was very surprised to find it in his backpack because his teacher did not call me at the time of the incident. This made me upset. I feel that in serious instances such as this, she should call me straight away. Anyhow, the incident report stated that Evelio was eating pretzels and it was time for lunch. The teacher's aide stopped giving Evelio the pretzels, which angered him. This resulted in him "biting the teacher's aide on her inner thigh." The recommendations from the teacher and the principal were to "shorten Evelio's school day."
Now, let me remind you, Evelio only attends school for four hours right now. When I read that the bite was to the "inner thigh" I immediately reacted with "How in the hell did Evelio even get to the teacher's aide's inner thigh?? I called the teacher and explained my concerns. She said that they were both standing and that the aide had Evelio's hands in hers so that he could not scratch her, so instead, Evelio bent over and bit her thigh. The teacher also told me that the bite was bad enough to draw blood. I still am confused as to how he was able to get such a tight grip on her inner thigh while she was standing up, and how she was unable to block the bite to begin with. I understand that he acts fast, but I still don't see how that happened.

Anyhow, I expressed that I completely disagree with shortening his school day because his behavior was not caused by a long day at school. It was caused by refusal to give Evelio pretzels, so I feel that shortening his school day is an inappropriate intervention. I believe that his day is already short enough and that by shortening it more will only inhibit his progress more. The teacher said that she and the principal recommended this because Evelio seems to get more easily agitated after about 10:30 am. I began to explain that, by sending him home early, Evelio is taught that if he hurts someone, he gets to go home. The teacher said, "Well, when he starts injuring people, there's not really much we can do. We are going to try to change the ways in which we re-direct him and say alternative "no" words." I then began to get extremely over-emotional.

I cannot help that I come to tears when things like this happen. It's extremely difficult to know that your child is behaving so badly that he/she is unable to attend school. I voiced to Evelio's teacher that it seems as though people are going to continue to give up on him because he is out of control at times, but how is he going to improve if he is given up on. It seems that every time a problem occurs, the first reaction is to shorten his day. It's like they believe spending even less than the already scant amount of time they work with him is really going to help him learn.

I guess that after I graduate with my Bachelor's in Special Education, I'll just have to stay at home and teach Evelio myself. I feel so heartbroken and lost right now. I feel that all the progress he made while away at school has just gone out the window. This type of behavior is making me feel as if there is no hope for my son, at least while he's at home with me. And this is a heart-crushing feeling. I really want to believe that this is just a phase and one day we will be much farther down the road of progress, but when you have three consecutive weeks of this type of SERIOUS behavior, it's is almost impossible to believe this way. I'm just in tears.